Crossfit...One of My Other Churches

It has already been established that I am headed to Hell (prior post) so, I typed out the title of this post with freedom and a smile. It's okay, I do go to another "real" church.  I go to church for community, to learn, for forgiveness, and to gain some understanding. Hopefully, I come out inspired to give another week a shot at being a good person. I found this somehow very similar to the reasons I go to CrossFit. Religious church and CrossFit are like fraternal twins on good terms.

When I walk in to CrossFit, I am acknowledged: a hello, a hug, a wave. I am surrounded by friends, old and new.  I know that when I walk in, I am accepted and anything that has happened beyond that door frame doesn't really matter at the moment. My heart is genuinely happy to be present and I've brought a few of my companions - acceptance and well being. Our athletes are filled with hope. What will be the outcome of the challenges we face? We can oversimplify and feel that some outcomes are failures. For example, missing a heavy lift or not being able to complete a workout as we had anticipated. It's never a failure. We are all aware of that. We are all aware that any attempt is moving us toward becoming. In this community, you'll amass the greatest cheers if you are struggling because you are unrelenting - we all appreciate your journey and the "brass ring". When you are successful, we all feel it. It's rather organic, isn't it? When you win, I feel like I won, too. That's fellowship. Every member matters.

A hallmark of CrossFit is the community. Our members have similar objectives and a certain amount of stubbornness! Fortunately, the stubbornness is directed toward barbells. Despite our similarities and differences, our community holds us responsible for ourselves and holds us socially responsible. We are a collective of citizens who are interdependent and share ownership of our community. Go ahead, call it a cult and crack the "Drink the CrossFit Kool-Aid" jokes, I will be the first to offer you a swig from the chalice (which looks a lot like a protein shake bottle) . I firmly believe that people without a community are more prone to mental illness, substance abuse and even, given the right personality, more likely to engage in violent acts towards others (and/or themselves). This particular community may not be for everyone, but it's important to find a community that nurtures your spirit and mind in positive ways.

Recently, I went to a 9:30 class at CrossFit during which I griped about a recent series of events that involved one of my children and the internet. These events were, to say the least, unpleasant and I feel that I failed as a parent.  My 9:30 comrades quickly offered me some hope, advice and more importantly, perspective that included copious amounts of laughter. After a few sets of  back squats, another member chimed in about her recent issue. Granted she is far more level-headed than I am, I believe we both reaped the benefits of our community. The combination of dopamine and camaraderie is enough to cure what ails you. The situation was cathartic (and full of PRs).

I suppose my point is that I am a member of a community that is full of some sort of unspoken intimacy. It's a mutual understanding that we are all trying our best. I am given the benefit of the doubt, and you will be the recipient of such a gift. Inside our walls, we have established a league of givers and takers, winners and losers, lovers and haters and we are all here to encourage you to be your best - no matter which of those hats you're wearing at the moment. When you walk out, start again...renewed and empowered. You have a lot of people who believe in you.

When I walk into my religious church, I'm worn out. I'm looking up, around, over and under for a second chance in the upcoming week. I want to feel better and do better (it wouldn't hurt to look better, either). I find grace at the very start. We open our service with these words, "Come, come, whoever you are...your presence here is a gift. All are worthy, all are welcome." And those words keep me going to religious church and those words, although unspoken, reaffirm my membership in my CrossFit congregation.

Thank you Rachel Karnes Photography!
http://www.rachelkarnesphotography.com/
And, thanks KC Batik for my favorite tank. I love the Burg.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/KCBatik

Jesus and Buddha and all those other nice folks

Lately, I've rediscovered an inner peace. Probably something I have not had inside me since childhood.

Growing up as a Catholic kid, I knew I was going to Hell. At least, that's what I was told. Once, I drew on the wall with a crayon. It was that neon orange color. That delightful crayon probably had the name "Sunny Day Orange" or something very joyful like that. Needless to say, when it was discovered that I had faintly outlined the doorknob to our downstairs bathroom with Happy Orange, I quickly denied the crime. "You go to Hell if you lie", is what I was told. I was 5. I was doomed by the age of 5.

I prayed the rosary. That was not the last time I would turn to Mary and Our Father for forgiveness. No matter how many times I prayed the rosary, it felt useless. I was going to Hell. I went through the motions of Catholic life: First Communion, Confession, Confirmation. I had no idea this was all supposed to have meaning in my life - other than I was trying to sell my entry ticket to Hell.

I remember being Confirmed in college through the Catholic Campus Ministry. We went through many discussions and formalities so that we could be certain we would be prepared to commit to the Catholic Church. I felt ready, I was ready to follow in the footsteps of Jesus. This was the guy that was supposed to save me. His Dad, God, was looking out for me, too.

A few days prior to Confirmation, my Confirmation group met. In the midst of the discussion, I became aware that God was not some fellow high up in a cloud, wearing a toga and a long white beard while pointing a staff at things that he either wanted to create, repair or destroy. What the Hell? He's not a guy? He's not at least a spirit of a guy looking out for me? I was floored. I was angry that no one had ever mentioned God's true identity to me. I felt like a fool, but I committed to Catholicism anyway because it seemed like the right thing to do.

For years I walked around angry at myself for being Catholic. For agreeing to something I did not whole-heartedly believe in, for not understanding it after years of going through motions. Then again, I did not bother to dig deeper to discover what I did believe in. I spent many years just being me...no sail, no paddle, no motor, no extra water, no life vest...nothing. I was wandering, but mostly lost.

 I'm about to turn 42. I've had awhile to think and still retain some level of confusion (this is particularly true since I hit the age of 40). What I know is this: there are a lot of good, admirable people on this planet. Before us, one of those greats was Jesus. He is one of many truly admirable people whose teachings I take to heart along with those of other great men and women. Jesus did not want us to worship him, he wanted us to be good people (act like him). Whoever can teach me to be a good person, whoever can serve as a fine example, I will watch you and listen to you. Buddha, I'm listening. Mother Theresa, show me the way. Gandhi, I'm all ears. We have in our lifetime, incredibly kind people roaming the earth, sending us messages about goodness, hope, faith, healing, understanding. We may not realize it now, but they are out there. I believe that. I'm sure some walk by my side and I don't even know it.

I've discovered a great book as I search for understanding of my own faith, Accidental Saints: Finding God in All the Wrong People by Nadia Bolz-Weber. I've listened to her NPR interviews and find that she speaks my language. I understand what she is saying and she is giving me some clarity and hope that Jesus is not going to stamp my one-way ticket to Hell. If there is hope for me, there is hope for you. The icing is that she's a CrossFitter, so she can't be THAT bad, right?  =)


Here's a link to Nadia Bolz-Weber's interesting insights:

http://www.nadiabolzweber.com/latest-sermons