PRs and Bacon Wrapped Dates

First CrossFit competition. It was a partner competition and we took 3rd place. That's me waving. That's my partner walking away and going to the Regional competition...twice.  I like to pretend that I played a significant role in my partner's success.

It's interesting watching people enter the world of CrossFit. I feel there is a psychological and physical evolutionary process that occurs.

 

First, there's the PR jackpot. When you begin, you don't have a CrossFit resume and, therefore, everything is a PR. You could call it "getting established", but that wouldn't give you much credit for your work. Call everything a PR. First time bench pressing? PR. First time doing a pull-up? PR.

From there, you proceed into really trying to perform the movements (aka: listening to your coaches). Some things you comprehend, some things you don't. Chances are, double-unders won't "click" until you've experienced countless lashings. You will get beaten by the rope. I've seen the lashings on faces, calves, forearms and buttocks (we share a lot of information in "the box"). One day you'll be want to quit and VOILA!  It's a miracle - you have double-unders!  That miracle is beter known as "practice".  Then there are the lifts. Not only will you attempt to master the nuances of each lift, but you will try to remember which is which. Is that a clean? A snatch?  (By the way, "snatches" never stop turning into a joke and never stop producing laughter when the word is mentioned.) What's a jerk? You'll find yourself wanting to lift faster, stronger and heavier, but discover that your nosey coaches will reprimand you for sacrificing form.  If you lift heavy loads, but your form is a mess, you will inevitably end up at square one at some point in your training...maybe even years later. You need to be patient. This is the part where people will say CrossFit is dangerous: don't lift more than you know HOW to lift. Chances are, you can lift it, but can you do it without herniating a disc? In my case, the lifts I attempt are consistently imperfect. It may be a small issue and some days it's a bigger issue, but occasionally, when I hit it just right...the bar will float. I've enjoyed that millisecond of a floating bar that occurs annually. It's when the bar is moving upwards and the momentum and speed and timing and my body and mind are communicating at the right place at the right time. When it happens, you know. When it doesn't happen, you will also know.

Eventually, you'll decide to lose that band so you can attempt kipping pull-ups. By the way, is that a real pull-up or a fake pull-up? I vote fake. Anyway, months go by and all of a sudden your brain's kipping pull-up neurons decide to connect and before you know it, you've PR'd your Fran time. Fran: the collision of  lung capacity, physical perseverance and quieting the voice in your head that keeps screaming, "NO". You might be coughing up a lung. Whatever you do, do not Google "Fran lung". Whatever, it is worth it.

The months go by and you find that you have hit a barren land, full of plateaus.......

Stay on target. Stay on target.

And what about your hands? The changes you see in your hands are incredible. Were they soft and sweet? Do you caress your children with them? Not anymore. I rubbed my son's back the other day and he said, "OW!" I use my hands to scrub my pots and pans when I don't have a Brillo pad. Why just yesterday I used my hands to sand down some rough wood on an outdoor project. Generous chunks of skin peel off of your palms (check the gym floor, your epidermis is hanging out there) and when you get home, you'll forget you've been skinned, begin to wash your hands and you will cry. I've seen grown, brawny men cry. When you recover, your hands will be leathery and invincible. I wear my hands with pride. You've graduated, my friend, your hands will never be the same.

So, then you decide you might want to work on your eating habits because, hey, you're in plateau land and you need a distraction to make yourself feel better. Let's PR some food. There's a big revelation happening...nutrition and exercise like to travel hand-in-hand. When one suffers, so does the other.  You'll discover paleo and go gung-ho. You'll eat paleo pancakes with dates and bacon and sweet potato. And after that, you'll eat dates, bacon and sweet potato with paleo pancakes. Then maybe you'll have sweet potato, dates, paleo pancakes and bacon. Eventually, you will miss a big bowl of spaghetti and define yourself as "paleo-leaning with a side of ice cream" with the occasional dates, bacon.... Ask me and I will tell you about moderation and "the middle way". You can eat, exercise and be happy all at once without feeling deprived. I will never give up chocolate chip cookies. Never! There are only so many ways to cook a fucking sweet potato. Just stop it, a sweet potato cacao cookie is not worth my time.

Full circle - back to the box-centered-focus. Now you find yourself "icing the cake." You understand the movements in the gym and you are well aware of what you can do and what you can't  need to work on. A floating bar! Your pull-ups are the equivalent Jennifer Grey being held up by Patrick Swayze during "the lift" :  it's the time of your freaking life!  Hallelujah, you have arrived at the pearly gates of CrossFit. The bar has wings! Your sweat tastes like angel tears!

And two days later you'll feel like you got hit by a truck.  Never mind, you will eagerly go back to continue your evolution.